The Internet is for demolishing the English language

Ah, the pain.

The cold is, if anything, worse. I've got sinus headache, stuffy nose, clogged ears (what was that again?), mild photophobia and an annoying, annoyingly loud cough. And my throat feels like I'm trying to swallow 40-grit sandpaper.

But onto the real pain. I've been reading online fics again.

- People in these fics eat their meals in the dinning room. Maybe they haven't paid their bills recently.

- And they seem to like plates of sand - they're ending each meal with desert.

- Before they eat their meals in the dinning room, they wonder around the room. Believe me, kids, we wonder too.

- You never lose something, you loose it. Probably by not tightening it.

- Rig up the jaunty sale!!! See how the main sale sets!!! Avast there, mateys, we're sailing off to... I dunno, The Bay?

And this fic has some of the higher quality writing out there...

I'm sure if we don't stare at the sealing we can find worse examples!!

Edit: The author from whom many of the above butchery of the English language comes, made a slight error in his last chapter, apparently a search-and-replace type error: The name MaryLynne was replaced by Maryland. For the last half of the chapter, that state had interesting adventures. I don't know how an entire state's population fit into a kitchen, but they managed in this tale. :P