(no subject)

[lordshipmayhem]

Thanks to my good fiend friend sarcasm_hime for pointing me to this automatic complaint letter generator. It's a great deal of fun!! It can be remarkably, if unintendedly, accurate. Witness this

Let's start this letter with a little quiz:

1. Does The SCO Group realize it's more deplorable than a nutty, patronizing buffoon?
2. Where do we go from here?
3. Essay: Compare and contrast The SCO Group's ebullitions to those of putrid mountebanks of various stripes, focusing especially on who is more likely to replace love and understanding with priggism and tribalism.

Don't worry; I'll give you all the answers throughout the course of this letter as well as a wealth of other information about The SCO Group. The following text regards my complaints of recent days against The SCO Group and its subtle but loathsome attempts to move increasingly towards the establishment of a totalitarian Earth.

Looking at it on the bright side, were he alive today, Hideki Tojo would be The SCO Group's most trustworthy ally. I can see Tojo joining forces with The SCO Group to help it drag men out of their beds in the dead of night and castrate them. So, what's my take on The SCO Group's pushy fairy tales? Simply this: If we take its "compromises" to their logical conclusion, we see that by next weekend, it will reduce human beings and many other living organisms to engineered products and mere cogs in the social machine.

"Egocentric" is The SCO Group's middle name. Well, that's a bit too general of a statement to have much meaning, I'm afraid. So let me instead explain my point as follows: The SCO Group has found a way to avoid compliance with government regulations, circumvent any further litigation, and caricature and stereotype people from other cultures -- all by trumping up a phony emergency. Looking at it another way, you might have heard the story that The SCO Group once agreed to help us prescribe a course of action while remaining true to those beliefs, ideals, and aspirations we hold most dear. No one has located the document in which The SCO Group said that. No one has identified when or where The SCO Group said that. That's because it never said it. As you might have suspected, I am not fooled by The SCO Group's rash and eristic rhetoric. I therefore gladly accept the responsibility of notifying others that I'm sure The SCO Group wouldn't want me to eavesdrop on its secret meetings. So why does it want to pilfer the national treasure? My answer is, as always, a model of clarity and the soul of wit: I don't know. However, I do know that it needs to stop living in denial. It needs to wake up and realize that it says that no one is smart enough to see through its transparent lies. Wow! Isn't that like hiding the stolen goods in the closet and, when the cops come in, standing in front of the closet door and exclaiming, "They're not in here!"? As a matter of policy, wily spivs should not toss quaint concepts like decency, fairness, and rational debate out the window, but this has never stopped The SCO Group. The SCO Group offers two reasons as to why every word that leaves its mouth is teeming with useful information. It argues that (1) free speech is wonderful as long as you're not bashing it and the ethically bankrupt goof-offs in its sesquipedalianism movement, and (2) the ideas of "freedom" and "communism" are Siamese twins. These arguments are invalid for the following reasons: First, every time it tries, The SCO Group gets increasingly successful in its attempts to shackle us with the chains of Jacobinism. This dangerous trend means not only death for free thought, but for imagination as well. Let me close where I began: I sometimes use the hypocorism, "ornery, vengeful infernal-types", when referring to The SCO Group and its pals.