Ainglise how she is (mis)spoken

[lordshipmayhem]

There are times when I despair for the future of the Queen's English. These examples, from online fiction of various sorts, are from supposedly English-is-my-first-language types - in fact, I strongly suspect that aside from a smattering of words in other languages, it's their only method of communications, aside from grunts and hand signals. At the mildest, these all-too-common little errors bespeak of a desperate need to re-read what you've written before clicking the "submit" button.

The Spell-checker of fail:
- The Dinning Room: I've now seen it in a number of tales, by a number of apparently indebted authors. It's close relative is:
- The Dinner. Not a meal itself, it is a lunch counter.
- The Reality Agency. This author probably never read any house ads. ("Cozy": the front porch doubles as a living room, the rear patio as the dinningdining room. Overnight guests swing their hammock in the bathroom.)
- The Bitch Tree: I've never heard of a bitchbark canoe, but I suppose it's possible. Maybe it's where this author gets crab-apples from?
- Shad: To quote, the shirt was a shad of blue. Now that is a horse of a different colour!!
- Use of "it's" for possessive. Mentioned often in their blogs by others equally bothered.
- "Loose": "Did you loose something?" No, I tightened it instead.
- "here": opposite of "his", as in "She gazed out through here sleepy eyes."

Grammar - it's not just for breakfast anymore:
Add to the above: run on sentences. Breathe, girl, breathe!!
Another author had the annoying habit of ending all his speeches with a period:

"That looks good." He said.

(No. It doesn't.)
Ah, the non-sentence: Often I have seen "sentences" lacking a verb. Often that has been followed by the notorious "headdesk"
One probably underage author was apparently allergic to the word, "and", preferring the ampersand. (I keep trying to put the "d" second, myself, so I can see his/her problem.) Add to that the run-on sentence & I think you can see what I mean & if you find it as annoying as me you can be quite against it & so on.

This ends today's lesson on the Importance of Skilled Editors.

Comments

[jennisis.livejournal.com]

I also just read about a box wrapped up with a bright blue chord.

Ah, music be the tie that binds...

[lordshipmayhem.livejournal.com]

Ah, the author's prose just sings, doesn't it? ^_^

[strayfish.livejournal.com]

Augh, I was reading something university-related the other day (can't remember exactly what it was now) and they used the word (?) its' to indicate a plural. I was just imagining the author sitting there thinking "I know it's not supposed to have an apostrophe in the middle... but I just HAVE to put one somewhere!"

*facepalm*

[lordshipmayhem.livejournal.com]

And this was on UNIVERSITY literature? Which university? Remind me not to hire any of their graduates!!